to have someone by ur side? to support u?? to trust u?? to be there for u?? to go throu hard thimes with u? a stead? a kin? a buddy? a fren? relatives? brothers? sister? what makes u xing fu??



tryin my very best to wash brain myself.. to be strong enuff to smile at u when i see u with her standin right infront of me.. 06dec06 a day i will never forget..been through so many things le.. so many many things happen... i tot our love will get stronger.. yt.. u doubt me n j, i doubt u n h.m somhow thing jus arent happenin the way we wanted.. wanted to forget hose things we do tgt.. the place we went.. everything.. i still can see ur shadow there.. sadness emptiness came across me.. i'm holdin on to myself.. makin sure.. i'm strong enough.. i'm brave enuff.. feelin so toopid for forcin my own feelings.. tad day.. totally dun wana say goodbye to u.. yt i still say le.. u are no longer smiling the way u use to.. the way u talk.. the way u act.. the way we bcame.. things keep happening.. again n again.. and it came to a end.. i'm sure its not xi guan.. i jus wanted to b with u.. but.. a mirror(r/s) once hurt.. the scar will always be there.. always.. no matter how u amend it.. no matter how u save it.. lovin someone can be in minutes... hurtin someone in secounds.. to gain trust take times...really.. i'm tryin very hard to get u out from my heart.. no matter how deep the cut is.. i'll 4gt u... ni yao xin fu oh... never never do the things to her the same way u did to me.. dun hurt her feelings.. of dun love le.. dun dragg.. dun keep pushin her away w/o sayin anything.. dun forget to tell herabout ur fong muo.. dun 4gt to tell her u always wanted ur gf to be same class with u.. dun 4gt to tell her how much u hope ur gf live near u.. dun 4gt how much u love her.. dun 4gt to tell her wad ur parents like.. wad candy sandy like.. ur parents will get to like her de.. will treat her better this time de.. she's much more gentle.. sweet.. caring.. understandin.. mature.. the way she talk.. the way she chat.. u jus love it.. u know? i tot i was tad strong eh.. but when the day i return u ur disc.. u came out from the lift.. i didnt expect her to be there.. u purposly ask her to be there or wad i dunno.. i have alot of things wanted to tell u tad day... but it couldnt came out of my mouth.. instead of everything i wanted to say.. i end up tellin u yao xing fu oh.. smiling at u.. i turn my back face u n walk off immediately.. i dun wan u to see my tears.. hurt.. very hurt.. i noe love cant force de.. but i'm still very hurt.. i once wanted a break up.. u say u will change things.. ask me trust u.. ask me give u chance.. after i get back with u.. 2month later.. u gimmi stun.. started to push me away.. forgt abt anniversary(when u use to take it seriously).. 1week meet once or whole week never meet.. till u lock ur phone with password.. den follow by her msg tad i saw.. her calls.. everything.. her pic in ur phone n u tell me its nth.. i really felt so stupid.. why at that time.. i still dun wana give up.. i still tell myself.. u will change back to the leon i once know.. but... sad to say.. form bad to worst.. break is the final word in our dictionary..
dunno why all this came to my brain.. cant take it anymore.. just type out here.. to release ba.. haha.. while typin use tears to wash face.. so sticky now.. gotta wash face le.. haha.. why cant i just get over u?? =l silly gal always silly.. days pass.. things change.. ppl change.. mindset change.. slowly.. days..months..yrs.. i'll manage to 4gt abt u de..didnt know i type this much le.. some sentence didnt make sense also.. haha i break down again?? haha maybe ba.. S.M.I.L.E is the only thing i can do now.. =]


♥♥ LingLing felt dark and cold deep within my smile~~*♥♥